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A day in the life: An ode to coffee

Just the right mixture of French-dripped coffee with chicory and amaretto-flavored creamer and suddenly my anxiety is anti-climatically gone. Poof. Buh-bye. Don't come back. Jerk.

I thought I had to get caught up in a swirling maelstrom of ambiguity and slowly crescendo-ing hysteria having to metaphorically "die" to be "reborn" again to get out of my depressive funk episode. (Which is usually what happens by the way, especially in October and April of every single YEAR UGH.) It's very melodramatic if you're not the one having to be stuck in a rut of impending doom and suicidal ideation. Very,very bittersweet. But THANK YOU, COFFEE, for relaxing my liver and other physiological aspects into a more relaxed, happy state. Basically, I think coffee is how I should self-medicate.

Taking the advice of a certain NOLA-based artist I met this Spring Break, Lionel Milton, and another certain cool kid friend-from-high-school who's also an up-and-coming painter, Sebastian Tristan: "do whatever you want" and "do you".
Lionel actually was answering a question I asked him while in his attic-studio: What kind of style were his paintings? And he really said more something along the lines of "whatever" and a mix of "it's whatever I like/whatever I want it to be". But really, do whatever you want, because we're in that post-modern age away from the "-isms".

I don't sketch daily, only when the feeling moves me, and I think they turn out phenomenal when they're inspired yet not-really-where-you're-starting-out because to be frank I didn't know what I had in mind to draw. I just kept going, and ended up with this:
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Not sure why I sketched this image though: Maybe because I miss my long hair and running my fingers and palm to get that edgy, indie-grungy, sideswept look? 

As an artist... to be very technical, my illustrations are very manga-inspired (old-school CLAMP, specifically) with some influences from Alphonse Mucha and tid-bits from here and there from other contemporary artists. As of late though I've been doing more "cameo" work where it's just the head and upper bust. I like it as is, though. It looks very earthy, very pretty (I'm very aesthetically inclined to an almost perfectionist level, which is why I went totes anal on my angled bob and choppy nasty bangs). My art's never consistent because of the third/fourth/fifth ever-changing influence so asking me if I sketched one illustration because another doesn't look quite the same compared to another, is a huge, HUGEHUGEHUGEHUMUNGO DISS.

Someone accused me of that when I was 14 - when in reality that's just how I draw. Never forget. 
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Detailing, detailing, detailing.

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The doodle above that I did tonight and this doodle (done several weeks ago) aren't very alike. The only thing consistent I've ever kept with me is clean lines. Edited to bright with contrast because this was lightly done.
Self-medicating and doodling aside (which by the way, explains my nickname, "Doodles"), color is reviving itself in my life. Fluctuating moods galore: I've opted to wear a lot of grayscale and monochrome the last few weeks, even if I did spend a small fortune on a wardrobe of salmon pinks, floral prints, royal blues, soft turquoises, peachy oranges, and sheer numbers. Now I'm slowly getting back into the color spectrum. Slowly. Like a turtle. An awkward turtle.
But probably like a cute awkward turtle, like something chibird would draw.
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Drizzling Sunday afternoon, I donned a pullover and headed towards a Whole Foods because I'm in the market for lotion moisturizers with SPF now. I was just a passerby, appreciating the colors in bloom in the floral section and packaged fruits in the grocery aisle.

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Oh, and this is my new tea-only mug. The style reminds me of Lilly Pulitzer which caught my eye, but the clever (because it has some truth to it) quote on the side: "Sooner or later we all quote our mothers". I'm not sure if I want to quote my mother but sure, yeah, maybe I'll have the same technique. My mom uses a lot of imagery metaphors, by the way... which I already d--crap.
My Sundays usually suck eggs but today was pretty chill, laid-back, and not really as introspective and maddening as those other days where I wanted to run someone through Velvetine. Oh, what was yesterday? That was yesterday. Yup. *sharp inhale*

We'll see how the rest of the week goes before I make a concrete decision on whether this is a good or bad thing.


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Dementeria said...

If you die and reborn it only makes you a Phoenix! And that makes you fierce, able to handle everything. I'm glad to see you are feeling a bit brighter. :) -warm kitti

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